Lasana Liburd takes an irreverent look at November 19, 2008
A business class ticket from London to Port of Spain costs roughly $25,000. The win bonus for a World Cup qualifier as an unused substitute is approximately $7,750.
Trinidad and Tobago are bracing for a slump in tourism revenue due to an inability to strangle crime and the downturn in the global economy. But surely no United Kingdom resident can snub the terms offered to Hull City's third-string goalkeeper Anthony Warner and Wales-based non-league winger Josh Johnson.
Both players were unused substitutes on Wednesday when Trinidad and Tobago thrashed Cuba 3-0 at the Hasely Crawford Stadium, Port of Spain.
Maturana was nice enough to pay homage to the efforts of Warner and Johnson too and their brave decision to ignore the UK's dismal travel advisory for the south Caribbean twin island republic.
"It is a great step in different circumstances," said Maturana, through translator Kamasha Robertson. "A football player is not a tennis player. It is a team.
"You have to be a group, you have to live together."
This business of suddenly sharing personal space with strangers is no walk in the park. Anyone who has watched a reality television show worth its salt needs no reminding of this.
In the old days, players were expected to simply turn up on time, run your legs off, pick up a cheque and be on their way. Thankfully, football has advanced and catch phrases like "they are a great bunch of lads" and "I really enjoy being here" are every bit as important as the outdated "I run my heart out for my country no matter who is selected alongside me".
Not for nothing is Maturana a two-time World Cup coach. And, shrewdly, he refused to countenance bringing in a rookie when our 2010 World Cup place was at stake only to discover Warner does not care for our climate or that exposure to PlayStation sends Johnson into epileptic fits.
A lesser coach might have used a friendly match for that experiment. But Maturana needed to be absolutely sure.
There was good news too as both players came through their test with flying colours.
"Trinidad brought over two players who can really play," said Maturana.
Maybe next time, the Colombian might even play them.
It is, admittedly, an inconsequential story, though. Passionate Trinidad and Tobago football fans would not have been distracted from the more pertinent question alluded to earlier.
Who is Kamasha Robertson and when did she become Maturana's mouthpiece?
On Wednesday night, Robertson was nominated to the post of Trinidad and Tobago Football Federation (T&TFF) translator by a landslide in a free and transparent election. The incumbent, Professor Ansil Glod, had been at the post since September but was deemed, by some sections of the media, to have an especially husky voice that did not lend itself to clarity in the poor acoustics of the Hasely Crawford Stadium's press centre.
It appears that some members of the press are fussy about clarity from their translators and, after a taste of Robertson's work for the Cuban technical staff, staged a coup so swift and seamless in its execution that Jamaat-Al-Muslimeen head Yasin Abu Bakr would surely have applauded.
An oral vote was taken on the spot, TTFF press officer Shaun Fuentes counted and, presto, Robertson was added to the South Africa delegation.
FIFA vice-president Jack Warner and the TTFF pair of president Oliver Camps and general secretary Richard Groden were not in attendance and it was just as well. The smell of political power was in the air and there was no telling what the media might have attempted as an encore.
Nobody dared to vote Warner (A) and Johnson off the island, though. Our tourism industry needs all the help it can get.