You knew T&T were in trouble, because Jack Warner announced they were changing their nickname. Soca Warriors no more--now they were just Warriors. See, "Soca" implies fun and frivolity, and the World Cup is serious business, and…well, you get the idea. (Remember, this is the same guy who changed "CONCACAF" to "The Football Federation.") Rumor had it he also wanted the whole team to change their first names to Stern. After all, with Stern John already on the roster, why not also Stern Yorke, Stern Hislop, Stern Eve, etc., just to show how stern you are?
Bertille St. Clair would have settled for players named Mickey Mouse, if only they had been healthy. Cornell Glen, who had performed so well against the USA, had an ankle injury, and word came from Scotland that Marvin Andrews had anterior cruciate ligament damage. So up front St. Clair went with Very Stern John and Kenwyne Jones, which was logical enough given Guatemala's small back line. But in defense he pulled a shocker: Dennis Lawrence, who had been simply horrendous in the semis. True, Ian Cox was hurt as well, but he could have moved Anton Pierre over, or tried Atiba Charles, or played with only 3 in the back. Instead it was Lawrence and Brent Sancho in the middle, with Pierre at RB and Nigel Henry getting his first start at LB (Marlon Rojas was limping too).
Meanwhile Guatemala continued to bore everyone to death. No name changes, no injuries, no controversies, no news. Oh, a few of the lads had signed with MLS: Guillermo "Pando" Ramírez for LA Galaxy, and Mario "El Loco" Rodríguez with Columbus Crew. The suspended Rodríguez was replaced by Carlos Figueroa, and the unsuspended Gustavo Cabrera rejoined Pablo Melgar in the traditional 4-4-2. That sound you hear is all of CONCACAF yawning.
With Guatemala needing a win, they went to their usual quick ground attack. But the Sternmen responded aggressively themselves, ready to make a game of it. Dwight Yorke and Carlos Edwards were active, and although T&T was under some pressure at the back, there was no indication that this would be anything but a close, hard-fought, pleasingly open game.
But 17 minutes in the unthinkable happened. Ramírez, in his usual spot in left midfield, decided to let fly with a 25-yarder. And Shaka Hislop, normally the most reliable of the Serious Ones, made a complete mess of it. With plenty of time to move to his right, he reacted slowly, never got his body in front, and let the ball slip through his hands for a goal.
And the roof fell in. It didn't matter what nickname T&T gave themselves, because the only one that fit was The Really Bad Defenders. In the 30th minute Carlos Ruiz got free in the area, took a pass from Ramírez, and scored. In the 38th minute Carlos Ruiz got free in the area, took a cross from Gonzalo Romero, and scored. Lawrence was disastrous--but he had ample company in Brent Sancho and Anton Pierre. With the game relatively open, and Guatemala running free, T&T was in danger of losing by double figures.
But to their credit, the Solemn Boys didn't throw in the towel. Sandwiched between Ruiz' two goals was one by Carlos Edwards, and although it was a fluke (a 40-yarder that took a deflection), it presaged a strong effort to come. Up 3:1 to start the second half, Guatemala let up on the gas, and T&T took control of midfield, with Edwards, Yorke, and Eve creating several decent scoring chances. But unfortunately Stern John has been Slump John lately, and although his face may have been sufficiently stern, his technique wasn't. So when Guatemala finally took back the reins, it was all over. They wound up with 5, and by the end the defense wasn't even bothering. On the last goal Dwight Pezzarossi walked into the area unchallenged, took a pass from an equally unmarked Carlos Figueroa, and scored, presumably with his eyes closed.
For Guatemala it was a most rewarding victory, the first time in months they had looked convincing. Pezzarossi was man of the match, for his two second-half goals and 90-minute all-out dirty work. Of course, nothing interesting was said by either the coach, the players, or the press, but winning is never boring.
For T&T there was very little to say. As always, they had shown potential, and as always, some part of the team had failed. But this time the failure had been so spectacular, so awe-inspiring, that you wondered how they could recover. The only hope looked like another name change: maybe from "Trinidad & Tobago" to "Mexico"?